A Miss Understanding

From the hallway, I hear Lil' Miss crying, SOBBING in the kitchen. But no sprinting, dashing, or gasping was done on my part. Experience has taught me that I'd be raising my heart rate for a dropped pencil or misplaced necklace rather than a severed hand. So as I make my way into the kitchen, I yell, "Are you okay?" which of course is code for "Are you almost finished crying?" When I finally appear, she bursts into another round of tears and says, "Mom, you just make me sad!"

I'm confused, seeing as how I was on the other side of the house. But hey, anything's possible around here. So I rub her back and ask her to tell me what I've done this time. She cries, "You just closed the bathroom door!"

Now I'm in a state of total bewilderment because I thought everyone in this family was in agreement that the bathroom door must stay closed, that an open bathroom door is like a formal letter-pressed invitation for Baby Dude to wade in the toilet water. So I say, "Why, dear child, does closing the bathroom door make you SAD?" To which she wraps her arms around my legs and responds, "Because I love you."

And now I'm scratching my head trying to follow my daughter's logic and feeling a strong affinity to Honk who countless times throughout our marriage has gaped at me in disbelief and said, "I just don't understand you."