Taking One for the Planet

For the most part, I'm not very "green", environmentally speaking. I'd probably be considered more of a lemon-lime or chartreuse, to be honest. I'm committed to the givens, throwing plastic and paper into the proper waste recepticles, turning off lights when I remember to (or at least dimming them), tailgating car bumpers for better fuel efficiency, and conserving water by drinking Diet Coke, but that's about it. It feels a bit overwhelming to think about saving the planet when I'm mostly digging around the bottom of my purse looking for spare change so I can pay for the cheaper, nonbiodegradable baby wipes in quarters and dimes.

What happened to the vegetarian high school hippie who gave away all her perfectly good leather shoes and wore puffy-painted shirts that preached "Recycle, Reuse, or Regret!"? Where is that tree-hugging, hemp-wearing girl now? I'll tell you where she is. She's in the kitchen serving up chicken nuggets on paper plates and wiping spilled milk with a wad of paper towels. When Gore called it an inconvenience, he wasn't kidding.

But since Honk left on his business trip, I'm proud to say I've been very good to Mother Earth. First of all, I'm pretty sure I never showered yesterday. That wasn't actually planned but a respectable step in the direction of water conservation nonetheless. I didn't bathe the kids either. In fact, Baby Dude just stayed in his pajamas all day which also saved me a load of laundry and water. I also didn't cook. We ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch and Lunchables for dinner. I'd say that's pretty energy efficient. Most importantly, I found Baby Dude sucking on an almost completely full container of contact lens solution and I didn't throw it away. What a waste of money and plastic! Now that I'm thinking about it, I might be eco-friendly after all! Now, where are those puffy paints...