On the Right Track This Christmas?

Honk and I had decided months ago that this would be a simple Christmas. We were determined to escape the crazy consumerism that distracts us from the true meaning of the holidays. It was time to get back to basics and focus on what was really important, like the birth of the savior, the love of family and friends, and the fact that we're broke. Our poor, deprived children would have to figure out some way to survive this winter without mindblowing toys like this kiddie ice rink (which can be yours too for the low, low price of $39.99!) American conspicuous consumption at its finest...


This Christmas would not find me wandering aimlessly through Target in a trance-like state, hypnotized by holiday toy sales. You would not discover me dazed in the princess aisle, slack-jawed and muttering to myself, "Must get her more princess dolls. NEED more princess dolls..." Those frivolous spending days were just where my pre-offspring waistline was- long gone with no foreseeable plans of returning.

We agreed to only buy the kids a couple of gifts, so we had to make them good ones- ones we knew they'd really love that would also hold their attention for more than three seconds. To me, this seemed like an easy task for a couple of reasons: 1. I am very in-tune with my children 2. At this point, I will do just about anything to end Lil' Miss's incessant pleas for "the pink Hannah Atana microphone because I want to sing so beautifully for everyone". And for Baby Dude? Well, I'd already bought his Christmas present months ago.

Nice, huh? Yeah, I thought so too. We bought the train set on sale way back during the summer and the beautiful table was courtesy of Grandpa Nudge and Grandma Lainey. I couldn't wait to see him play with it. He was crazy about those cars on tracks. Every time we browsed a toy store with one of those train tables set up, he'd go nutzo, running over to it and wiggling around like a dancin' fool. He was into it, pushing the train UP the hill, DOWN the hill, IN the tunnel, OUT of the tunnel... It was a strange sight to witness such raw intensity on the face of our happy-go-lucky boy.

Giving him that train set was what I was most excited about Christmas morning. I could hardly wait to see the expression on his face, to see him scream, shake, and dance around like a fool. Maybe he'd be so moved he'd even speak his first intelligible words or cry tears of joy. I was picturing Laura Ingall's face at the sight of that shiny copper penny in her Christmas stocking. Yeah, I may have set myself up for some disappointment.

Almost one week later he still hasn't touched that train set, hasn't even made eye contact with it. He's been too busy working on this...

Snow simulation thanks to the styrofoam packaging in the train table box. Niiiicccce...

I'd be great to find some deep meaning in all of this, maybe a connection to our ingenius plan to keep Christmas simple this year, but I'm way too annoyed to bother. All I know is that if he doesn't start pushing Thomas the train through that tunnel here pretty soon, he's getting an empty plastic water bottle from Santa next year.