Get the Guns and Huntin' Dogs! It's Birthday Season!

It's pretty safe to say (assuming I still know how to count backwards nine months) that most of our friends have included "make a baby" on their list of New Year's Resolutions over the last few years. Not only do Lil' Miss and Baby Dude have birthdays during the fall, but so do most of their friends. (By "their friends" I'm really referring to the children of MY friends. All of our kids play together and love eachother because, well... they don't have a choice.) So around this time of year, we experience an avalanche of birthday parties. I'm not exaggerating when I say Lil' Miss and Baby Dude will be jumping in bounce houses, wailing on pinatas, and stuffing their faces with cake and ice cream all while wearing balloon hats taller than their own bodies for the next ten Saturdays in a row.

As you can imagine, all of us moms are in a mad dash to get a date on the calendar for our own kid's party. This is the only time of year that the sight of an EVITE in my email folder can launch me into a tirade of truck-driving curses, knowing that one of my "stay-on-top-of-things" friends has beat me to a date. (You ladies know who you are...) And don't even get me started on the nerve-racking pressure of trying to come up with a party theme that hasn't already been done a million times before. Now add to this the fact that my kids' birthdays are only nine days apart. Seriously, how much easier would it be to combine the two parties? Maybe a Princesses and Pirates theme? But how do you convince a four-year-old princess, a very traditional princess, that pirates should be welcome, too? That given all his wild, swashbuckling adventures of looting and womanizing on the high seas, Captain Hook would actually make a far more interesting guest than let's say stuffy ol' Prince Charming? But this kind of negotiating with Lil' Miss is going to take time, some back-massaging, fingernail-painting, Pirate Booty-licking time! Time that
I DON'T HAVE!!!

While I may not have the party situation nailed down yet, one thing I do know for sure. This year there will be no sheepish, self-effacing answers when fielding questions about gifts for my children. In the past, when friends or relatives have asked what they could get the kids, I always himmed and hawed, trying to appear modest and uninterested. I'd reply with, "No presents, just your presence." Well, don't expect an idiotic response like that from me this year! That line got washed away and is floatin' down that river we call the RECESSION! Times they are a' changin'. These days I'm seriously practical and practically serious. So this year I've devised a sensible birthday list for my children that you are more than welcome to use if you haven't already dropped dead from party helium balloon inhalation:

For Baby Dude- Please, no toys. Most toys have pieces that must be picked up and put away and you all know how I feel about that. Baby Dude would much rather take a scenic drive along the coast anyways. He'd like gas cards in lieu of toys. He also loves snacks and would appreciate a gift card to Vons or Albertsons.

For Lil' Miss- She is still very much into playing dress up and is insistent on owning her own pair of black heels, a women's size 9. She feels the quality and style of Nine West or Kenneth Cole would suit her just fine. She'd also like to glam up in a fancy new black dress, a women's size 6. A gift receipt would be appreciated though, in the off-chance that she decides she would actually enjoy breathing in the gown and exchanges it for a size 8 instead. Please, nothing too revealing. She's just a kid, for crying out loud!

Hey, I know this is unconventional, but this is what THEY want. And who am I to stomp on their birthday dreams?