Why Late Naps are not Allowed Here Anymore

This is not a crime scene, but it might as well be. Few scenarios frighten me more. Upon discovery, I plunge to the ground in a heap of jumbled limbs and drown in my own tears. Any mother would if their own child had just committed this act of high treason against them.

There's no simple solution. Waking her up is easier said than done. That's because she's not really "napping". Naps are quick, light rests. This is neither of those things. It's more like a light coma. I am almost ashamed to admit some of the tactics I've resorted to in trying to wake her- shaking, tickling, tapping, tapping really hard, bruise-free pinching, hair pulling (but not yanking), yelling, and bending her body into a sitting position which I definitely do not recommend unless you enjoy watching your child's cranium snap back-and-forth like a bobble head. But it doesn't matter anyways. Sleeping Beauty is just going to keep right on doing what she does best.

So you ask, "Why such drama over a little girl gettin' some early evening shut-eye? Let the girl snooze, for cryin' out loud!" Oh, so naive!! Sleepy Head here conked out at five-thirty which means she'll be up around eight-thirty and won't fall back asleep again until about midnight. Do you know how many times I'm going to be watching Strawberry Shortcake's Berry Blossom Festival on repeat play over the next several hours? No, you're in the dark about this one, literally, because you went to bed (something I will sit here on the couch and fantasize about with my eyes open) long before Apple Dumpling finished singing her never-ending solo for the eighth time. Anyways, I just wanted to say good night to everyone.