Storytime

Tuesday mornings are all about Storytime at the library. Lil' Miss, Baby Dude, and I are regular patrons and look forward to our weekly dose of campy songs, clever books, animal puppets, and felt board stories. This week, we arrived just a few minutes before showtime and shuffled into the already packed ampitheatre. We climbed the stairs to the top row and found a spot with a decent view of the stage and of HER, the real reason we come here. Miss Betty.

Standing a mere four feet, ten inches tall and weighing in at ninety pounds, Miss Betty is a sight to behold. With her snowy white, bowl-cut hair, padded appliqued vest, and colored jeans hiked up a half a mile above her waist, this wiry sprite definitely looks the part. But don't let her size or age fool you. Miss Betty has the energy of an Iditarod Husky. She doesn't just sing the songs, she BELTS them. Her feet don't march, they STOMP. She doesn't speak for the book characters, she BECOMES them. Whether taking on a squeaking mouse, a roaring lion, or a honking goose, she delivers her voices as if the fate of the universe depends on it. She is so completely in her element here that it makes a person wonder if she not only works in the library, but was BORN AND RAISED in it, under the care of the she-librarians in the Children's Department. And for the record, I'm not entirely convinced she does all this for the kids. I'm not even sure she LIKES kids. But that's neither here nor there. Miss Betty has a storytelling destiny to fulfill. And while she may not high-five little Jimmy or smile sweetly at Betty Sue, she IS changing young lives, one pop-up book at a time.

But back to Storytime... Miss Betty came bounding onto the stage and immediately began her charismatic singing and motioning. Unfortunately, I knew by the end of the first song that today was NOT going to be a homerun. For some reason, Lil' Miss and Baby Dude weren't feelin' it. Miss Betty was as lively as always and the "Back to School" theme seemed interesting enough, but Lil' Miss and Baby Dude were unimpressed. They didn't sing, clap, or even honk their horns as the wheels of the school bus went round and round. They were BORED. Baby Dude leaned back against me and turned his head to the side to settle in for a nap in my arms. And Lil' Miss was hanging all over me, draping her body over my legs and sighing continuously. It was NOT going well. I found myself checking the clock every couple of minutes and even considering the unthinkable- sneaking out the back door.

But then something unexpected happened. Storytime was coming to an end and Miss Betty decided to sing a silly rendition of "The Animals on the Bus". It was all going along as you'd expect until Miss Betty began the verse, "The Seals on the Bus". Miss Betty was really getting into it, becoming very excited about clapping and barking like a seal. In fact, she was headed down that precarious path we call OUT OF CONTROL. Her clapping fins were swinging wildly across the stage and her guttural seal bark was so deafening that the kids in the front row covered their ears. She kept whipping her head back and forth like a drunk rock concert fan. The lady had lost it. SNAPPED. One too many choruses of "Skidamarink" I suppose. You could tell all the mothers were trying to pretend that it wasn't happening, that is wasn't a big deal, but their smiles began to quiver and they were all nervously looking around at eachother. It was getting noticeably quiet in there. AWK-WARD.

And that's when it happened. Miss Betty had finally gotten her attention. Lil' Miss shot to her feet, leaned toward the stage, and never took her eyes off of that batty seal. The girl was busting up. She was doubled over, holding her gut, laughing her head off. The place was eerily silent except for the uncontrollable guffaws of Lil' Miss who was practically rolling around on the carpet. Grinning from ear to ear, she cupped my face in her hands and cried, "Mom, that is one CRAZY lady!"

There's no doubt about it. My kids feel right at home with craziness, and I don't have the slightest idea why.